Christmas Crack Challenge Time!!!

Everyone go check on fiona_fawkes's Christmas Challenge Post!

She states:
The rules are simple (and subject to gross embellishment without notice):
- Pick a numbered prompt from the list and comment to say which prompt you're doing.
- create a drabble/drawble/limerick/poem/interpretive dance/other creative pursuit of your choice in whatever fandom you feel like perverting at the time.
- come back and post it here as a comment or link to where you've posted it in your own LJ. At this time, you're welcome to pick up another if you like.
- Feel free to pimp this out and spread the crack.

Come December 26th, I'll collect all the links and post a master list of the crackery for your amusement.


1. Did you get any under the tree?
2. I think your balls are hanging too low.
3. Check out Rudolf's honker!
4. Santa's sack is really bulging.
5. Lift up the skirt so I can clean underneath.
6. Did you get a piece of the fruitcake?
7. I love licking the end till it's real sharp and pointy.
8. From here, you can't tell if they're real or artificial.
9. Can I interest you in some dark meat?
10. To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against a wall.



And here is mine. Yeah... I tried for all ten. Absolutely unbeta'd and cracktastic, but oddly fluffy towards the end. I have no idea how that happened.

( First Party Impressions )

zOMG. Prophecy. So much of what I want to say has already been said on my flist, but I suppose I'll add my two cents as well.

( This was written on notebook paper in the airport, while I tried not to cry in front of a scary, looming French man... )

So, Photobucket is being an asshole. So I'm going to provide the link to my facebook album. Please let me know if you see a picture that you're in that you'd rather not have on there. They are mostly just of me and my roomates, but some are from formal programming, meetups, wizard rock, and I totally fangirled mijan a whole bunch, so yeah, just let me know. (It's flocked on facebook, too, so no random people can see!)

And as for drabblage. *coins phrase* These three came from drabble prompts in the slasher RoR.


( Regulus Black and the Broken Timeturner )


( Umbridge's Secret Panty Butterfly, Remus Lupin's Shoe Fetish, and Professor McGonagall's Pet Hamster )


( Kinder Egg Surprise: Toucan Swinging on a Perch? )

My roomates and I started our own LJ group: hd_prophecyroom. We gave each other some challenges of our own, and so I think this counts as Prophecy induced drabblage. I wrote two!

A Tent Through Abating Peanuts, for kairi999.

and for ambeon, I wrote (on the plane on the way to Prophecy!) ( Slash on a Plane )

Alas. There is the product of my Prophecy experience. Along with some pretty arts I won by pinkelephant42, some Snily art I was given by an LJ-less lady I met on the bus named Stephanie, and all of my wonderful memories. (And H/D goodie stuff, course♥. I treasure my signed bookmark with all my heart!) *gets cheesy again* I can't wait til TERMINUS!!! AND IT'S IN CHICAGO!!!! So (unless there are other active Chicago slashers out there I don't know about) I proclaim myself the Slasher Chicago Tour Guide of sorts. Feel free to ask any questions about the city you may have. (You know, when you actually care... in about a year, lol.) I think I should wrap this up. It's long. Thank you to all who I met at Prophecy for making it AMAZINGLY WORTHWHILE. I can't wait to see you all again!

"If one is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities..." -Maya Angelou <-- my favorite quote of all time :D

Title: Tragic
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Rating: PG
Prompt: Tragic (for 100quills)
Warning(s): None
Genre/Category: Fluff
Summary: Remus gets a sunburn in winter, and Sirius has a Christmas surprise.
Authors Notes: Thank you to my wife, sunsets_shadows for the beta/read through! Love you!

( Click here for fic! )

Challenge Table, where eventually all 100 will be!

Title: Lucid Dreams
For: cryptaviscus
Keywords: umbrella/s, camera/s, Irish
Dialogue: "Seriously, gods have feelings too, you know."


( Here yar )

Written for the February miettes_desmots cookie challenge

Title: Owned
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Rating: R
Challenge: loophole, 4am, chocolate "It would have been fine either way."
For: kowaiyoukai

( God dammit… in this moment you’re all I want. In this moment, I am happy… in this moment I want to grab you and… )

This was written for the miettes_desmots December Cookie Challenge

Title: Only a Whisper
Rating: R
Author: scarlet_malfoy
For: tehgenius
Keywords: caterpillar, highjack, spontaneously combust
Dialogue: "Please, bitches, I'm trying to work the floor here."
Summary: Harry thought his problems would be over after defeating the Dark Lord but there’s still a lot he must overcome. But he will learn to trust that he’ll never have to face his fears alone. Defintely flangst, post-Hogwarts, post-War, slightly AUish, featuring the lovely Angsty!Harry and two OCs. Mostly from Draco’s POV.

Thank you to http://www.crystalinks.com/shc.html for their information on Spontaneous Human Combustion

And a HUGE thank you to mackenzie1 for her quick beta-ing powers!

Author’s Note: So I didn’t think I was going to be able to come up with a very good story line given those hilariously random keywords, but hell… I went on a tangent and I really actually am in love with this cookie. Chocolate chip!
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Goodness do I wish I owned Harry and Draco but I do not. It’s all lovely Joanne Kathleen’s.

Enjoy…

( A memory floated into his mind of the time he and Harry had attempted to have sex under there, but were completely unsuccessful. They weren’t contortionists, after all... )